{"id":1013,"date":"2019-05-29T22:08:53","date_gmt":"2019-05-30T02:08:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sudlatnid.com\/wp\/?p=1013"},"modified":"2019-05-29T22:08:53","modified_gmt":"2019-05-30T02:08:53","slug":"opinion-how-to-get-every-email-returned-the-new-york-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sudlatnid.com\/?p=1013","title":{"rendered":"Opinion | How to Get Every Email Returned &#8211; The New York Times"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h3>Or at least how to try.<\/h3><div class=\"css-acwcvw epjyd6m0\">\n<div class=\"css-vp77d3 epjyd6m1\">\n<div class=\"css-1baulvz\">\n<p class=\"css-16vrk19 e1jsehar1\">By <span class=\"css-1baulvz\">Trish Hall<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"css-qsaw8 e1wtpvyy0\">\n<p class=\"css-ri4qrz e1wtpvyy1\">Ms. Hall is the author of \u201c<a class=\"css-17hhg15\" title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/books.wwnorton.com\/books\/detail.aspx?ID=4294998229\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Writing to Persuade: How to Bring People Over to Your Side<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<ul class=\"css-1w5cs23 epjyd6m2\">\n<li><time class=\"css-rqb9bm e16638kd0\" datetime=\"2019-05-25\">May 25, 2019<\/time><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div><div class=\"css-1ha00o2 ehw59r12\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-children\">\n<div class=\"css-t972an ehw59r13\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-overlay\">\n<div class=\"css-h43nn8 ehw59r14\">\n<div>\n<div class=\"css-8h527k\">\n<div data-testid=\"lazyimage-container\">\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"css-1j5kxti e1t57l6r0\" src=\"http:\/\/sudlatnid.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/26hall-articleLarge.jpg\" sizes=\"((min-width: 600px) and (max-width: 1004px)) 84vw, (min-width: 1005px) 80vw, 100vw\" srcset=\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2019\/05\/26\/opinion\/sunday\/26hall\/26hall-articleLarge.jpg?quality=90&amp;auto=webp 600w,https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2019\/05\/26\/opinion\/sunday\/26hall\/26hall-jumbo.jpg?quality=90&amp;auto=webp 1024w,https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2019\/05\/26\/opinion\/sunday\/26hall\/26hall-superJumbo.jpg?quality=90&amp;auto=webp 2048w\" alt=\"\"><\/figure><p><\/p>\n<header class=\"css-1aibk7h euiyums4\">\n<div class=\"css-79elbk\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"css-1a48zt4 ehw59r15\" data-testid=\"photoviewer-children\">\n<figure class=\"sizeLarge layoutHorizontal css-1ox9jel toneOpinion\" role=\"group\" aria-label=\"media\"><figcaption class=\"css-17ai7jg emkp2hg0\"><span class=\"emkp2hg2 css-1nwzsjy e1z0qqy90\">Nicolas Ortega<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/header>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><section class=\"meteredContent css-1i2y565\">\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">We\u2019re all writers now. We fling words out into the universe through text, email, Facebook and more. Even people who hate writing have to do it, because you need to text your husband back, write your boss a condolence note and do better on Tinder than \u201chey.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">On average, American adults are texting about 30 times a day, twice what they did back in 2011. Not so long ago, these people would have made a phone call; now no one does that except telemarketers who wake you in the middle of the night. On Facebook, more than half a million comments are posted every minute.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">So many words. And too often, they are neither convincing nor entertaining. There are ways, however, to write persuasively in your everyday life. To break through the clutter, to get attention and even to bring people over to your side.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">In the course of doing research for a book on how people actually change their minds, and what gets them to say \u201cyes\u201d rather than \u201cno,\u201d I was distressed to find that I knew much less about it than I thought I did. I figured that my nearly five years as the New York Times Op-Ed editor gave me a pretty strong vantage point on what worked and what didn\u2019t. It did \u2014 but I didn\u2019t always know why. What I sensed intuitively about effective writing turned out to rest on some deep psychological truths. Understanding them provides tactics that can be exploited in both personal and written interactions.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside class=\"css-17l9gfh\"><\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">Some of these rules can be used both in writing and in real life. Until we\u2019ve banished written communication entirely, we\u2019re going to have to keep doing it \u2014 so you might as well get your text messages returned.<\/p>\n<hr class=\"css-16zlh5b e1mu4ftr0\">\n<h2 id=\"link-6368cfc1\" class=\"css-edk2dh eoo0vm40\">Tell the Truth<\/h2>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">This is a weird one. Facts don\u2019t matter all that much as a tool in persuasion. Research going back decades, confirmed again and again, shows that people have a preference for the information that matches what they already believe, and they avoid facts that might disabuse them of their notions. In general you cannot rely on facts to make your case \u2014 more important by far is emotion. On the other hand, people get angry if you mislead them. If you use an anecdote in your argument, make sure it rings true. If it doesn\u2019t, you will instantly lose your reader. Truth telling applies to personal interactions, too.<\/p>\n<h3 id=\"link-4cd531df\" class=\"css-1gx894m e1gnsphs0\">Texting<\/h3>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">No:<\/strong> Subway broke down! See you soon!<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Yes: <\/strong>15 minutes late. So sorry. First drink on me.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Why: <\/strong>Accuracy matters. If you repeatedly lie, even about small things, people will stop trusting you. If you blame the subway or traffic, it means you didn\u2019t leave early enough. Offer an accurate time frame and present a peace offering.<\/p>\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<h2 id=\"link-381fd7d0\" class=\"css-edk2dh eoo0vm40\">Be Quick About It<\/h2>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">Most daily communications are too long and rambling. Get to the point. People are busy. They don\u2019t want you to go on and on.<\/p>\n<h3 id=\"link-58d3acf\" class=\"css-1gx894m e1gnsphs0\">Dating<\/h3>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">No:<\/strong> I\u2019m looking for a man who loves fun and can keep up with me. I ski black diamonds, do triathlons, speak five languages, volunteer for hospice and on weekends make five-course meals. Please be interesting in the morning, engaged to the fullest in your work life, and both fun and relaxing in the evenings, always eager to go to the newest play, the newest restaurant and the nearest gallery opening.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Yes: <\/strong>I like to read novels until 3 in the morning, binge watch TV on weekends and walk aimlessly through the city. I know. Riveting!<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Why:<\/strong> Honest, direct and short.<\/p>\n<hr class=\"css-16zlh5b e1mu4ftr0\">\n<h2 id=\"link-31ce3add\" class=\"css-edk2dh eoo0vm40\">Just Ask<\/h2>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">People underestimate the value of just asking for what they want. Research shows that even strangers are more willing to help than we expect. Don\u2019t apologize, and be direct. If you do ask and you\u2019re rejected, you\u2019ve lost nothing. People are loath to ask for help because they fear rejection, they\u2019re anxious and they\u2019re embarrassed \u2014 but humans are wired to want to help. It\u2019s not hard to understand the psychology \u2014 just look at yourself. When someone asks you to attend a party or give them a ride, you probably make an effort to do it, even if you don\u2019t really want to.<\/p>\n<h3 id=\"link-21401638\" class=\"css-1gx894m e1gnsphs0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Getting someone to show up<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">No:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">Dear Everyone,<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">I\u2019m involved with a group that gives scholarships to young people and I am hoping that some of you might be able to attend our celebration next Monday. Let me know if you can.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Yes:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">Dear Trish,<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">I\u2019m involved with a group that gives scholarships to young people and I am hoping that you can attend our celebration next Monday. A number of people you know, including John and Jim, will be there. Can I leave your name at the door? It\u2019s at 6 p.m. at the Historical Society Building.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<hr class=\"css-16zlh5b e1mu4ftr0\">\n<h2 id=\"link-7e3cf861\" class=\"css-edk2dh eoo0vm40\">Know Your Audience. That Means Listening.<\/h2>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">To reach someone, ask questions and really listen to the answers. We\u2019re persuaded by people who make it clear they understand us, that they relate to our concerns. So seek out those opportunities for connection. If you are warm and friendly and seem like you\u2019ve tried to understand me, I\u2019ll be more likely to go along with you. Think about this in everything you write. What does your audience, whether one person or 50, really want to hear?<\/p>\n<h3 id=\"link-6fe55c70\" class=\"css-1gx894m e1gnsphs0\">A condolence letter<\/h3>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">No:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">Dear So and So,<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">I was so sorry to hear about your father. It\u2019s very hard to go through that. I\u2019m thinking of you.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Yes:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">Dear So and So,<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">I was so sorry to hear about your father. I remember the time he came to my Thanksgiving, and you and I imagined for just a minute what it would be like if he got together with my mother. He was kind and charming, like you, and I am glad I got a chance to meet him.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">I am thinking of you.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Why: <\/strong>Always make it personal, to show you know your audience and what will make them feel connected to you and appreciative of the note. Think about what the person would want to hear.<\/p>\n<hr class=\"css-16zlh5b e1mu4ftr0\">\n<h2 id=\"link-146514fc\" class=\"css-edk2dh eoo0vm40\">Banish Jargon<\/h2>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">If you\u2019re talking to someone in your field, you can theoretically get away with phrases like \u201coptimize opportunities<em class=\"css-2fg4z9 e1gzwzxm0\">\u201d <\/em>and \u201cmaximize the cost-effective strategies,\u201d but it doesn\u2019t make you sound smart. It makes you sound like a robot. Actually, worse. Even Alexa uses conversational language.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside class=\"css-o6xoe7\"><\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-190ncxp\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1fanzo5 StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<h3 id=\"link-41259772\" class=\"css-1gx894m e1gnsphs0\">Writing to someone who just interviewed you for a job<\/h3>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">No: <\/strong>Thank you very much for taking the time to talk today. I am certain that I will be able to contribute a great deal to your organization, especially by optimizing your relationships with the media, employing the multilevel skills I have developed over the years. I look forward to hearing from you.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Yes: <\/strong>Thank you so much for taking the time to talk today. I have some additional thoughts on how you could get more media attention without adding any more staff members. For one, I think you could do more with Instagram stories. I am happy to send more details if you would like that. Looking forward to hearing from you.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Why: <\/strong>All the gratitude, none of the jargon.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-18icg9x evys1bk0\">No matter the audience, write simply and clearly. That takes longer, but the effort will pay off. You\u2019re not looking for a long answer in return \u2014 just an answer, and ideally, a \u201cyes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-176h8r7 etfikam0\">Trish Hall is the author of the forthcoming \u201c<a class=\"css-1g7m0tk\" title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/books.wwnorton.com\/books\/detail.aspx?ID=4294998229\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Writing to Persuade: How to Bring People Over to Your Side<\/a>,\u201d and a former Op-Ed editor of The New York Times.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n\n\n\n<p>Source: <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2019\/05\/25\/opinion\/sunday\/writing-advice.html?utm_source=pocket&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_campaign=pockethits\">Opinion | How to Get Every Email Returned &#8211; The New York Times<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Or at least how to try. By Trish Hall Ms. Hall is the author of \u201cWriting to Persuade: How to Bring People Over to Your Side.\u201d May 25, 2019 Nicolas Ortega We\u2019re all writers now.&hellip;<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"excerpt-readmore\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sudlatnid.com\/?p=1013\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1013","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-interesting","odd"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sudlatnid.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1013","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sudlatnid.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sudlatnid.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sudlatnid.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sudlatnid.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1013"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sudlatnid.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1013\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sudlatnid.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1013"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sudlatnid.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1013"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sudlatnid.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1013"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}